How I went from a diet culture-promoting fitness professional to a fat activist & scholar

My journey to fat activism may sound unconventional.

I have been dieting most of my life into my early 20s. Name a diet - I've tried it. All in the name of "health", of course, but real health was never actually in the room with me. I was also really into exercise, particularly going to the gym, and once it was time for me to choose what I wanted to study at university, Sports Science seemed the obvious choice.

It wasn't long until my lifetime of dieting caught up with me in the form of binge eating disorder. Something I have been living and struggling with for over a decade now. But also something that I now see as a life-changing and largely positive experience. Because of my binge eating disorder, I started developing an interest in the psychology-focused modules of my Sports Science degree. And the rest, as they say, is history. (Not really - I am actually going to tell you about the rest of my journey!)

As I progressed towards the end of my undergraduate degree and started studying Psychology for my master's, I also started working as a personal trainer and fitness instructor. Feels like a lifetime ago now! And everything I was taught in my undergrad - being fat is bad, losing weight is good, calories in vs calories out, etc. - I passed on to my clients. I was already living in a larger body by that point, and vaguely aware of dieting being the primary cause of my binge eating disorder, and yet my attempts to shrink my body didn't stop. And I truly believed that it was a goal I should be supporting my clients with as well.

It may not sound particularly exciting, but my discovery of the body positivity and fat liberation movements came slowly. Little by little, this content trickled through to me via social media. Little by little, I started learning about the origins of the fat liberation movement. And for a long time, I really believed in this movement - but my desire to shrink myself didn't stop. This came much later. And I still have bad body image days (as we all do). But I now firmly believe that shrinking myself (or changing my appearance in any way) is not an option.

My journey to fat activism (especially how it began) may sound unconventional. But it's not. Like most of us, I was raised in a culture that praised thinness above all else. And like many of us who eventually break free from diet culture, I experienced first-hand the horrible impact it had on me. And for (the fewer of us) who go beyond the superficiality of the body positivity movement (think: thin influencers telling us we should all just love our bodies), and take a deep dive into the fat liberation movement and all that it represents and intersects with (feminism, patriarchy, racism, diversity, etc.), going back to an appearance-focused way of living seems impossible.

After my master's, I proceeded to do a PhD in Sport & Exercise Psychology, which, above all, looked at how to get people to move more (while I myself had fallen out with movement completely). I took the same research focus during my first postdoc in Finland. It wasn't until I started my current position as a Research Fellow at the Centre for Appearance Research in the UK that I found the missing piece of the puzzle in my research and the answer to why the thousands, if not millions, of physical activity interventions, programmes, and campaigns generally fail to make us move - body image and weight stigma.

I now do research that goes beyond the individual, to change movement spaces and the people who work in them, so that everyone feels welcome to show up and exercise or do sport in their own body, as they are now, for whatever reasons they choose. And to make sure these spaces truly support, include, and are safe for all bodies. I also consult and deliver workshops to health and fitness organisations, to ensure my work impacts people in the real world, outside of academic publications. And my own relationship with movement is healing - I now move when and how I want, and prioritise joyful movement and rest over changing my body.

If you have read this far, welcome to my blog! I envision this blog will be a mix of personal reflection, science, and advice. If this is something that you are interested in, make sure to subscribe and share my website with others who may be interested (or who may benefit from the content).

That's all for now—thank you for being here and for making a commitment to make movement spaces more inclusive for all bodies!